then to be with someone and be lonely.
Being older and more self-aware is interesting. I realize my strengths. Im more confident in my own skin. Im smart and vivacious. Witty and generous. Caring and genuine. Im employed and educated. I live alone and support myself. Ive got the basics covered, at the minimum. I realize though that Im not as outgoing as I used to be. Ive got my guard up. I no longer assume people are good. Experiencer has taught me that trust has to be earned. It cant be given like a gift.
I tend to stay in more than I go out. Im somewhat of an outgoing introvert. I am independent and enjoy my own company but when Im out, Im not shy. I love to read, to cook, to bake. I spent this weekend on my own running errands, hitting up the library, baking, cooking, and reading. Ive got a few things more to do, but procrastinating is one of my best talents. :)
All of this introspection has made me realize that as much as I enjoy my solitude, I miss having someone special with whom to share it. I dont want to be surrounded by extraneous people; I just get irritated. But I do get lonely - not for just any company, but for the right company. I may be getting more cynical; more jaded, but I do believe there is someone out there.
I dont know that this is the right forum to meet that someone but I do know that putting myself out there betters my chances.
If interested, Id love to hear from you.
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